Hank
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Real Identity: Hank
Appearances: Azarath! Metrion! Bookstore!, The Great Azarathian Face Off, Bookyman, Unleashed, and Original Idea
Powers/Skills: Flight and Invisibility
Voiced By: Fred Tatasciore
Hank is a ghost cursed to work in Azarath Metrion Bookstore. Raven returned to Azarath to help work at the store. Hank was annoyed he didn't get a hello. Raven pointed out he was a ghost and was literally invisible. Upon hearing Raven was going to work at the store, Hank asked Trigon if he was finally getting a break. Trigon stated he didn't pay him to take breaks. Hank retorted he wasn't paid anything and he only worked at the bookstore because he was cursed. Trigon mused he wouldn't be climbing any corporate ladders with that attitude. Nana showed Raven, Cat, and Hank what needed to get stocked. Raven rested against a book titled "Secrets" and accidentally revealed a secret passage. Nana and Raven were eager to explore it but Cat wasn't so sure. Hank didn't think it could be more terrible than what was in the bookstore. Hank was horrified to find books with Trigon's face on them. Trigon snatched the book back and revealed it was his autobiography, Trigon: Dreams of a Conqueror.
Three ghosts from Trigon's past emerged from the book and flew up to the bookstore. Trigon wanted to get them back in the book before they destroyed Azarath. Baby Trigon found blue paint and started butt painting all over the book store. He butt painted Hank. Baby Trigon refused to go back in the book and possessed Trigon's butt then flew off and resumed butt stomping Hank into the floor. Nana grabbed Cat and offered it to Baby Trigon to pet. Baby came out and promised to be gentle. The last ghost, College Trigon, tried to transform Azarath into a peaceful world filled with liberal arts, jam bands, and patchouli oil. Hank was the first to be turned into a hippie. Trigon tricked and ate College Trigon. Everything returned to normal. Everyone was happy to have Margaret, the top conjurer, signing their latest spellbook at the bookstore. Hank informed them they were their biggest fans. Nana boasted they were a pretty magical group. Mar invited them to be contestants on their brand-new TV show, The Great Azarathian Face Off. The winner would be crowned Azarath's Next Top Conjurer.
In the first round, Hank made a potion from dragon scales, a tentacle, and bottles of chunky salsa that turned him back into a human. He was zapped by Trigon and returned to being a ghost. In the second round, Hank decided to give himself life again. He ducked Trigon's blast but he was zapped from behind by the Tiny Trigon he created and was returned to a ghost. Mar declared Nana the winner but because Nana was officially Azarath's Next Top Conjurer, she would be eaten to eliminate the competition. Hank drank a potion and turned into a muscular human. Margaret made his muscles implode and he was turned back into a ghost. Margaret was ultimately crushed by Raven's giant Shortcake Robin. Hank was annoyed with cleaning up after customers upstairs. Raven and Cat burst out from books are scared him. Hank wanted to spook Trigon. Trigon shelved books and was not fazed by their attempts. He claimed he wasn't afraid of anything.
Nana disagreed and told the others about a book that scared Trigon in his youth called "The Bookyman." It was the story of a twisted fiend bound inside a book. Nana led them to the Children's section where she hid her copy. Hank was annoyed the demon children left the area a mess. They summoned Bookyman who ate a copy of Little Red Riding Hood and turned into a menacing version of the Big Bad Wolf. Raven believed they just had to feed Bookyman something harmless. Hank grabbed a young-adult novel. Trigon told him to stop, in vain. He threw the book to Bookyman and he transformed into a Black & White Japanese schoolgirl. Trigon called Hank a fool and told him that was a manga novel. They took cover behind the register. Raven got an idea and threw Nana's "Forbidden Flame" romance novel into Bookyman's mouth. He turned into hunk. Bookyman sliced the register in half. Nana pleaded with him not to hurt them. Bookyman was enamored with her and proposed marriage. Trigon was shocked and terrified.
Just to scare Trigon some more, Hank pretended to be in love with Nana and proposed to her, too. Nana didn't know who to choose. Bookyman demanded a duel to the death. Cat regurgitated a sword for Hank. Hank to stabbed through by Bookyman. Hank hammed up his death scene and Nana knew it was an act. She accepted Bookyman's proposal. Trigon screamed. The wedding was held in the book store and Hank officiated. Cat presented the rings by hocking them out on a set of hairballs. Hank found her disgusting. Trigon cried tears of terror and called it the scariest day of his life. Hank pronounced them Nana and The Bookyman and they kissed, to Trigon's horror. Raven and Hank sold a book to customer claiming it was a nail-biter he won't be able to put down. The book came to life and bit the customer. Trigon entered the bookstore declaring it was Bring Your Daughter To Work Day. He clarified he meant his real job as an intergalactic conqueror. He revealed one could take over a planet by buying it online and escorted Raven to his hidden office of despair.
Hank mused there was nothing better to do and tagged along and noticed the abundance of computer monitors. Hank and Cat were excited Trigon owned Third Earth, home of the Thundercats, mainly because it was filled with ghosts and cats. Cat produced a Sword of Omens and pretended be the Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats. Hank morphed his face into Jaga and proclaimed he was Lord of the Thundercats. They circled each other growling. Trigon hyped a recent acquisition called Acmetropolis, home to the most legendary cartoon characters in the universe. The excitement tempered when Trigon explained he was talking about the Loonatics, descendants of the Looney Tunes who got superpowers from an asteroid and became extreme superheroes. Trigon believed he could make Acmetropolis even better and make it the number one entertainment destination. Hank was nauseated. He asked if there were at least any cool villains. Trigon presented a disgruntled weather reporter, mutated dolphin man, and an evil descendant of Porky the Pig.
Trigon believed he could make Acmetropolis even better and make it the number one entertainment destination. Hank didn't believe that was possible. Trigon's efforts led to the accidental death of the Loonatics. Hank thought it was too bad he couldn't just replace them with another team of superheroes nobody would miss. Trigon's efforts to replace the Loonatics with the other Teen Titans failed. Hank was impressed Raven made Mammal Planet more popular than ever, by stranding Trigon there for what he did to Acmetropolis. Trigon slid Hank off the couch and took his seat. Hank sarcastically said he wanted to sit on the floor and continued reading his step-by-step guide to Mutiny book. Nana called him a fool and revealed there was one place no-one controlled. Trigon didn't believe her. Nana conjured a book and told them about the Public Domain. Hank thought it sounded like paradise. Trigon figured it must be light years away. Nana pointed out the door to the Public Domain was next to the door to the public restroom.
Raven, Nana, Trigon, Hank, and Cat explored the Public Domain. They saw many books relaxing, playing, dancing, drinking, and otherwise having a good time. They were greeted by Winnie-The-Pooh. Book. Pinocchio stole Trigon's wristwatch but denied it and his nose kept growing longer and longer the more he did. He claimed it was for a limbo party. Raven, Cat, and Hank indulged him and performed the limbo. They watched as the Hollywood Machine selected books like Treasure Island and Little Women. Hank wasn't surprised since Hollywood practically ran on remakes. Winnie-The-Pooh Book was sad he wasn't chosen and guessed he didn't resonate with the modern audiences anymore but he was chosen next. However, he got stuck at the opening of the pipeline. They shoved him through but they got pulled in. They were deposited into 100 Acre Wood by the Hollywood Machine. Winnie was elated to be back home. The others found themselves transformed into Winnie's friends. Trigon was Piglet, Hank was Eeyore, Nana was Rabbit, Cat was Kanga, and Raven was Owl.
Nana realized Hollywood remade Winnie the Pooh into a horror movie. Christopher Robin chased after them with an axe. They were returned to the Public Domain by the Hollywood Machine and deposited into the ominous jungle. In order to stop the Hollywood Machine from warping the stories of any more books in the Public Domain, Nana had Trigon, Raven, Hank, Cat, and the Winnie-The-Pooh Book join hands and form a circle then think up an original idea for a movie or television series. They strained to come up with one. Hank stipulated it had to be an original story. After the Original Idea was born, Winnie dunked the Original Idea. It worked and the Hollywood Machine didn't know what to do with it. A chain reaction was set off. They retreated back to the Azarath Metrion Bookstore along with several books. Trigon informed him they were in his domain now and took them into the restroom for some reading. Winnie proclaimed Azarath was a terrible place. Hank welcomed him to their nightmare.